To Sarah,
I am so excited for you to have these beautiful baby boys. I can tell you that the first few months are CRAZY. I can guarentee you that you will feel like you have no idea what you are doing, trust me that is a completely normal feeling. I remember calling Mommy and asking her if it was okay if I took a shower while Autry was sleeping. Just remember that everyone has gone through the feeling of hopelessness, everyone has struggled through figuring out how to breastfeed, everyone has wondered why won't their baby just fall asleep. You are going to have two precious little bundles of joy and at times you are going to feel completely wiped out, and at times you are probably going to feel completely overwhelmed. I have two things that if you don't remember any other parenting advice from anyone else remember these two things. That may sound a little self centered by I whole heartedly believe that if you can remember these two things then you will be fine.
In their first 6 months of life the best thing you can do is ask for help and accept help in whatever form it comes in. The main person that to be asking for help from our heavenly Father. In Philipians 4:8 it says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. " When you feel like pulling your hair out, when you feel completely overhelemd just sit down and talk to God. I remember one day when Addie was about 4 months old, Which would of made Claire about 19 mos, and Autry was a little over 3. Addie and Claire had both beeing crying all day, Autry had thrown several fits and I was about to loose my mind. I left everyone crying, I went in my bedroom, locked the door and sat down on the edge of my bed in tears. I was grumbeling in my heart and felt like I was at my breaking point and I just heard this voice in my head, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God." I told him I felt like I was going crazy, I told him I was in over my head an overwhelmed, I told him that right now I don't even like being a mom. I completely layed out my heart to the Lord. When I left my bedroom a few seconds later things weren't any better on the outside, but my heart was at peace. I knew that I had a heavenly Father who loves me and that he was getting me through and helping me through the day, a great big powerful God that is by my side at all times. A Father and powerful God that I can talk to and wants to hear (even though he already knows) what is on my heart. The kids weren't any better that day (it was a rough day), but my heart was different.
This brings me to point number two. Remember the cross and the significance of the cross.
- Romans 3:23, "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."
- Romans 3:3, "Non are righteous, not even one."
- Romans 5:8, "but God showed his love for us while we were still sinners Christ died for us."
- Ephesians 2, "among whom you all once lived in the passions of your flesh, carrying out the desires of your body and mind, you were by nature Children of wrath like the rest of mankind, BUT GOD being rich in mercy becuase of the great love which he has loved, made us alive together with christ, by grace we have been saved.
We are sinners and there was no good in us that we should choose God, but God loved us so much that he died for us, if we accept his gift of salvation and ask for forgiveness of sins, in the richness of his mercy, by his grace he will forgive of of all our sins, so that one day we can be in heaven with him.
Sometimes as a believer we tend to forget the importance of what Christ did for us on the cross. We think that after we are saved the Cross has less importance to us. This could not be further from the truth.
Every morning we need to be at the cross repenting of our sins and asking Christ to give us his grace and strength to get through the day. As a mom I am hit with this truth over and over again. I cannot be the mom I want to be without Jesus. I get mad at my kids, I am selfish with my time, and most days I am thinking of myself and not how I can serve my family.
Almost every time that Claire sins and has to be disciplined we sit down and talk about her sin and how Jesus died for her sin. I ask her why did Jesus die on the cross for us and she exclaims, "Because he's rich in mercy! Because of the great love with which he has loved us!" Your children are the best tools for humbling you, and Claire reminds me all the time how much Christ loves me and how rich his mercy is.
This is the truth that we need to be clinging to every day! As a mom this is the truth to keep at the forefront of you mind every day.
Ephesians 6 talks about putting on the full armor of God. You will get discouraged and beat down as a mom. You will sometimes feel like not getting out of bed because you are just too exhausted. There will be times when you are just sick and tired of serving Andy and your little boys. These are the times when you need to talk to yourself instead of listening to yourself. For me this has been life changing, and I know we have talked about it before but I want to stress it to you again. When you start to have wrong thoughts in your head it is time to turn back to the cross. Instead of listening to the thoughtw in your head that are only meant to discourage you, talk to yourself and tell yourself the truth. If you think you are a bad mom, tell yourself that God has saved you and has given you the power to be an excellent mom. If you don't feel like serving your family, tell yourself of the awesome privilege God has given you to take care of these little boys and to serve Andy. When you find yourself getting mad at Andy for something that has more to do with your exhaustion than anything else, tell yourself Ephesians 4:32 "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted
Being a Mom is one of the best most rewarding things in the world. There is so many things that I could tell you at this point about raising and training your kids. I could relay countless funny stories and countless stories of when I have blown it. I could give you tips on how to train your kids and tips on how to be a great wife to Andy. As I prayed about what to say, I feel that the Lord wanted me to share the building blocks upon which all of that is built upon. Learning to turn to Christ daily and Learning to bring all my anxiety to Christ has been something I have learned and am constantly learning again and again and I know that if I don't have these things in place my life is going to be a lot harder and discouraging.
You are going to be a great Mom and I am so excited for this next journey of life that Christ is going to lead you on.
Love,
Your Sister
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